The Enigma Holds His Heart
by may-cherry
Summary: Oswald realizes that if he does not tell Ed the truth about how he feels he never will. After Oswald reveals his feelings Ed has to decide between the man who has always been there for him and a second chance at the romance he accidentally destroyed. Which will he choose?


Oswald's head slowly turned toward the light seeping into his grand bedroom. His pillow reeked of sweat and his face was sticky from the tears that he had feared would never stop during the night. His head was throbbing and when he attempted to lift it a sharp pain soared through his skull and caused him to collapse. He could not help himself. The tears began to fall like spring rain all over again. Oswald covered his face with the plush pillow and repeated the word "mother" over and over again, as though she would appear if he said it enough times.

Gertrud would have known how to cheer him up. She had a gift for making Oswald feel special no matter what went wrong in his life. He imagined what she would have done in this situation. He could almost feel her warm arms wrapping around his body, and the lace of her sleeves tickling his skin. She would have held him close enough for him to hear her heart beating. She would have smelled of roses. She was such a typical older mother that way. Oswald missed that scent more than ever in that moment. He bit the pillow in an attempt to quiet his sobs. As he closed his eyes he could see Gertrud's sweet face.

"What is wrong, my little Oswald? Why are you crying?"

Oswald gripped his mother's gown and cuddled up to her.

"I love him, mother. I planned a whole dinner to tell him and he kissed that girl! He's only known her for a day! It's infatuation. He's just obsessed with his dead ex. If he's such a genius why can't he see that?"

"My little Cobblepot, don't you lose hope. You are handsome and smart, and soon he will see that you are the only one who can love him this way. Now you go and be honest with him."

"But what if he rejects me, mother?"

"Even if he does not love you in this way, he will be your good friend all your life. Go on now."

As Gertrud finished her last sentence, Oswald was pulled from his reverie. He sat up in the bed and turned toward his bathroom. His mother was right. The possibility of rejection hurt, but keeping it to himself would make the anger within him build up to a point where it could cause a rift in their friendship.

Oswald stumbled into the bathroom and looked into the mirror. His hair was sticking up like straw in a scarecrow and his face was red, accentuating his freckles. Not quite the look he wanted for talking to Ed. As he showered he rehearsed what he wanted to tell his friend on repeat until he had it totally memorized. He dressed in a purple suit, since he knew Ed loved that color on him, and began walking toward Ed's room.

He tapped on the door with his cane and Ed peered out, but would not open the door completely. Oswald tried to smile but he felt rage and hurt boiling in the pit of his stomach. He fought harder than ever to keep Ed from seeing what he was feeling. It was not Ed's fault if he fell in love with someone else.

"Oswald, hi, do you need something? It's still pretty early."

"Actually, I do, Ed, I need to speak with you urgently."

"Okay, well, Isabella is asleep but if we keep our voices down it should be fine."

Oswald's face fell. He could not keep up the masquerade anymore.

"Isabella…stayed the night then?"

Ed was clearly perplexed by Oswald's reaction and began subconsciously swinging the door very subtly.

"Yes, is that alright? Is that against the house rules? I'm sorry if I've upset you."

Oswald closed his eyes, bowed his head, and held up his hand to stop Ed from rambling on.

"Stop! Just stop, Ed, I don't care who is in the house. I need to speak with you privately. I don't want _her_ or anyone else in the room."

Edward looked behind him then stepped out of the room, looking like a child who was scolded by a parent for getting poor marks in class. He walked alongside Oswald but did not dare ask where they were going or what the topic of conversation would be. He knew he must have done something wrong, because his dear friend would not even look at him, but for the life of him he could not imagine what it was he had done. He had saved Oswald's life from Butch, he had seen to all of his paperwork. Was it the riddles? No, Oswald would have simply told him not to tell as many around him.

Oswald walked Ed down to the cellar, where no one in the mansion could hear them, and sat down in one of the aisles of fine wine. He gestured to the chair opposite his own and Ed sat down. Oswald attempted to calm his facial features, because even though Ed had hurt him he could not stand seeing him so defeated.

"Oswald, if I have done anything to upset you I am truly sorry. I would never want you to feel hurt or betrayed by me. I can't recall what I did to upset you, but I would do anything for you. I would follow you anywhere ill or well, like Madame de Pompadour did Louis XV-"

"Ed, calm down, please. I'll tell you what's going on if you stop spouting all these facts."

Ed silenced immediately and watched as Oswald pulled one of the bottles of wine down and opened it. Of course Oswald had a corkscrew in his pocket. Perhaps Ed would need to tell Oswald about the effects of alcoholism in the future.

"I tried to tell you on two different occasions now. The first was in your office, but I admit I was too nervous to get the words out and that was my own fault. I wish I could have gathered the courage I possess when facing my enemies in order to talk to you. I gave myself a second chance though. I knew if I did not tell you I would regret it my whole life. So I set up a banquet for you. That dinner was so extravagant and so beautiful. I guess you could say it was what I wanted to tell you pouring out onto the table."

Ed's facial expression had slowly transformed from puzzlement to calm realization while Oswald was speaking. How could he have been so stupid? All the signs had been there! He thought to himself and listened to his friend in unison, and the more he thought about it the more he realized that on some level he had been aware of Oswald's feelings. He was just not sure what to do or say. Ed decided to take a chance and leaned in toward Oswald.

"Os, I'm sorry for interrupting you. I know that's generally considered rude, but…are you trying to tell me what I think you're trying to tell me?"  
"Well, I can't read your mind, Ed, so I don't know what you think I'm trying to tell you."

Edward spoke slowly and each word sounded shakier than the last. He blinked more rapidly than usual and rubbed his thumbs over his folded hands.

"I can't be bought but I can be stolen with one glance…," Ed began.

Oswald's eyes began to fill and he felt his cheeks heating up. He too leaned in toward his friend.

"I'm worthless to one but priceless to two," Oswald continued.

A single tear dripped down from Ed's eye and fell from his chin onto his trembling hand.

"Love. Oswald, you were trying to tell me that…"

Oswald reached his hand out again and pressed his finger to Ed's lips. He got up and stood only inches away from Ed. Wrapping his hands behind his back and gazing directly into Ed's eyes, Oswald at last began to tell him what he had been dying to tell him for days.

"Ed, you came into my life during the most desperate and lonely part of it. I had no one and nothing to live for, but you changed that. You were kind to me without expecting anything in return. You saved my life more than once, and almost died in the process. I have been cowardly in my past attempts to tell you this, but I think that now I am ready to face the risks of this confession. Ed, I love you. I love you and I want to see you happy more than anything in the world, but it is killing me to see you spend all of your affections on a girl you don't even know the last name of. Maybe that's selfish but that is how it is."

Ed sat silently for a long time after Oswald's confession. His face was blank and he could not think of a single clever thing to say in response. For the first time he was entirely lost for words. He looked up at Oswald and inhaled deeply.

"Ed, say something. You're scaring me," Oswald said with a fake smile.

"Oswald, I don't really know what response to give you. It isn't as though the thought never crossed my mind during our time together. I had no idea you felt that way though. Now you tell me at the same time I find a girl who is so much like Miss. Kringle, only even better in some ways. I'm halved, Oswald. On one side I see a man who has given me so much and wants to give me more. On the other side I see a second chance at the romance I unintentionally destroyed. How do you choose, Oswald?"

Oswald suddenly felt the anger that had been stewing within him rise to the surface. He threw his own chair to the side and drank deep from the wine bottle he had been holding. He cracked his neck and laughed ironically. It was such an insane situation he had gotten himself into. Of course he could not have just one good thing in his life and hold on to it.

"You are honestly putting me on the same level as this woman you've known for a day. You think she is equal to me? You think this _girl_ who is just infatuated by you because you happen to be smart is as good as the man who gave you everything? She is just that too, a girl! She makes paper people of herself and of you, it's disturbing!"

Ed suddenly bolted up from his chair and moved toward Oswald. His brows furrowed and he bore his teeth, as he often did when he was angry. Ed always looked so predatory when he was unhappy, and there was nothing more frightening than the wrath of a man who could kill someone without a second thought or care.

"You know nothing of her, Oswald. How dare you talk about her in such a disrespectful manner? How do you know she makes paper people of us? How could you possibly know that?"

"I went to her work! I told her about Arkham and that didn't scare her away. That should tell you what kind of person she is. What kind of woman hears that a man was in Arkham for murder and thinks nothing of it?" Oswald screamed every word. He no longer cared about the consequences. He needed to get all of it out.

Ed grabbed Oswald by the shirt and stared him down, but before Oswald had a chance to defend himself, Ed simply let him go and walked away. Oswald followed Ed up the stairs and toward his bedroom. Let Isabella wake up to hear them fighting. Maybe that would finally be enough to chase her away.

"I didn't say we were done talking, Edward!"

"How can you tell me that you want nothing more than my happiness, but deny me a chance to recreate the love I once had?" Ed sounded more tired than angry as the words poured from him.

"I do want you to be happy, but this _relationship_ you're in is nonsense," Oswald spat.

They were just outside Ed's bedroom door, and Ed put his hands on Oswald's shoulders. He watched as Oswald attempted to look away from him and gently turned his head back to face him.

"Oswald, if you were given the choice to either have a happy life with your mother again or stay here with me, what would you choose?"

Oswald stared up at Ed and tears rolled down his cheeks. He tried to answer but all he could do was stammer sounds.

"I don't want to hurt you, Oswald, and it's hurting me to know that I already have, but I can't just make this choice in an instant. I hope you can understand that. I need some time," Ed said. His words were soft and caring. His anger had left as quickly as it had appeared.

Oswald nodded and walked back toward his own bedroom, refusing to look at Ed again. He was a whirlpool of emotions. He felt guilty about putting Ed in such a difficult situation. He felt hurt by the fact that Ed could not automatically choose him. He missed his mother and wanted more of her wonderful advice. Nothing was going right, but he refused to give up hope. Even though they were both upset, Ed had not rejected him. He was thinking about it. Oswald still had a chance.

A full week had passed without a word from Ed. Oswald had seen him briefly here and there. Sometimes in the kitchen when he needed tea, or in his office when he needed to leave a file behind for Oswald. It was terrible not hearing his voice, but Oswald did his best to be patient. He knew that if he forced anything further he would blow his chances completely.

Oswald was sitting on his father's old bed and wearing the robe he had been gifted with on his first night at the mansion. Elijah's room was the only one Oswald refused to let anyone use. It was a sacred space that he would visit when he felt alone. An escape from his problematic life. Rather than feeling sad on the old wooden bed, Oswald felt a kind of peace he could not explain. The same peace he felt when his father would talk to him or tailor a suit for him. The kind of peace only Elijah Van Dahl could create.

His meditative state was broken by a soft knock on the door. He grumbled and limped toward it reluctantly. Everyone knew to never bother him when he was in Elijah's room. He had even killed a man for breaking his one rule on a bad night. As he opened the door and prepared to have at whoever was on the other side he saw Ed. His chief of staff's small nose was pink and his eyes were puffy. He asked only one question, and for once it was not a riddle.

"May I come in?"

Oswald gladly broke his rule and quickly ushered Ed inside. He locked the door and led Ed to the bed, offering a box of tissues. He waited for Ed to blow his nose and dry his eyes, feeling completely responsible for what his friend was feeling.

"Ed, I know it is stupid to ask this since I already know the answer, but I was raised with good etiquette. What is wrong? I've never seen you this broken before. You're usually so good at hiding this side of yourself from me."

Ed took a deep breath and took off his fogging glasses.

"I-I've made a mistake," he stammered.

Oswald's eyes widened and he covered his face with his hands.

"Oh, tell me you didn't kill her," Oswald replied.

Ed shook his head and could not help chuckling a bit at Oswald's reaction. Part of him wished he had been recording it so he could play it back later and laugh again.

"I didn't kill her, but she's gone. She disappeared and I feel conflicted. I am sorry that she is gone and that my chances have gone with her, but life is about moving forward. We can't keep on going back or we'll never progress. So I think I have reached a decision, however difficult," Ed explained.

Oswald reached out and touched Ed's hand. He knew such a tender act held risks, but he did not care. Ed needed him and Ed had always been there for him before.

"Ed, whether you believe me or not, I really am sorry that you've lost her. I wish you never had to experience loss. You don't deserve that kind of pain," Oswald said softly.

"I do believe you."

"What can I do to help? I could put out a search party, or I could give you some time off. I will do anything for you," Oswald told him.

"I'm just two and two, I am warm, I am cold,

And the parent of numbers that cannot be told;

I am lawful, unlawful, a duty, a fault;

I'm often sold dear, good for nothing when bought;

And extraordinary boon, and a matter of course,

And yielded with pleasure-when taken by force."

Oswald stared blankly and took a moment to think about the words. As annoying as the riddles could be, he knew Ed was only telling him one in order to calm himself down. Of course it had to be the longest riddle ever written though! Oswald could not even remember most of it, let alone solve it.

"Ed, I don't remember wha-"

Oswald's words were cut short as Ed grabbed him by his robe and kissed him. It was a closed mouth kiss, but it lingered for a long moment. Oswald could taste salt from where Ed's tears had hit his mouth. His lips were so warm and soft. It was the most comforting sensation he had ever felt. Oswald was the one to break the kiss. He stared up at Ed and cupped his face, rubbing his fingers along the high cheekbone.

"So you chose to take it by force," Oswald said with a chuckle.

"I am such a thief," Ed replied with a laugh.

Oswald pulled Ed into a tight hug and laughed into his shoulder. Ed had actually chosen him! When faced with what may have been the most difficult decision of his life, Ed chose him. Oswald wrapped his arms around Ed's neck and kissed him back. He had never kissed anyone before, but it felt so natural with Ed. He felt as though he had suffered for so long just to be rewarded with Ed's lips. Ed gently pulled away and smiled softly at Oswald.

"Do I have the mayor's permission to do as I wish for just one night? To leave my job behind and have a little fun?"

Oswald smirked and leaned back on the pillows. He was not entirely sure how to flirt or entice Ed, but he had a feeling he would not have to try hard.

"Well, that all depends on what kind of fun you are interested in having. With your…background I think I will need you to give me an example."

Ed chuckled and slowly untied Oswald's robe. He unbuttoned the blue nightshirt beneath and ran his long hand down Oswald's pale chest. He was so beautiful and perfect. Every freckle and scar only added to his near supernatural beauty. Ed leaned down and gently kissed the middle of Oswald's chest.

Oswald rested his hands in Ed's hair and smiled at him. He shivered from the feeling of Ed's hot mouth on his bare skin. It was strange yet thrilling to be so irresistible to someone. He suddenly sat up and frantically tried to free himself from the rest of the nightshirt.

Ed smiled and helped him, then rested his hand on the waistband of Oswald's pajama bottoms.

"Oswald, I know you've been waiting a very long time for love. Are you sure you're ready for this?"

Oswald's heart skipped a beat when he heard Ed actually ask for consent. He had always thought Ed was a perfect gentleman, and that sweet gesture proved it. He nodded and closed his eyes as Ed pulled the bottom portion of his pajamas off, leaving him in nothing but his underwear. Oswald's heart began to pound out of nowhere. All at once he became aware of how vulnerable his situation was. He grabbed Ed's hand and smiled when his partner immediately stopped what he was doing.

"Ed, sorry, is it okay if you get undressed too?"

"Of course, Oswald, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were feeling self-conscious," Ed replied sweetly.

Ed stood up for a moment and stripped himself. He seemed so at ease as each article of clothing fluttered to the floor like autumn leaves until he was completely bare before Oswald. The trust the man must have had in him was tremendous.

Oswald beckoned Ed back to the bed with his finger and laughed as Ed slid onto his body. He rested his chin on Oswald's belly and crossed his arms beneath it.

"What shall I do with the mayor of Gotham now? I have a free pass for one night," Ed teased.

"I wish I could give you some pointers, but I've never even dated. I'm still very new to all of this."

Ed slowly reached up and caressed Oswald from his shoulders to his hips. Oswald could not keep his breath from hitching in his throat. This only encouraged Ed, who dragged Oswald's underwear down and kissed his pelvis affectionately. Ed's entire body heated up and all rational though escaped his mind as he took Oswald into his mouth. He had never lain with a man before, but it felt so right. It was so right. He was in love.

Oswald moaned and gripped the bedsheets tightly. He did his best not to thrust. He did not want to risk hurting Ed, and he wasn't sure what his partner was able to handle. He felt one of Ed's soft hands cup his balls and the sensation was enough to send Oswald reeling. He gasped and panted whilst pulling at Ed's hair.

Ed looked up at Oswald and felt his own erection pressing against the bed as he beheld his sweet little bird looking so blissful and erotic. He began to crave release as he quickened his pace. He could tell Oswald was close and debated what to do once Oswald reached his climax.

Oswald felt an intense surge and his body arched up. He wrapped his good leg around Ed's shoulders as he came, and felt his partner drink every drop. It was the most sensual act Oswald had ever witnessed. As his orgasm subsided his body sank back down into the mattress and he opened his eyes. He noticed that Ed was still face down and grunting as he rubbed himself.

"Excuse me, Mr. Nygma, but you did not ask permission to commit such a lude act in my presence," Oswald said while taking Ed's free hand.

Ed crawled up and lay beside Oswald. His cheeks were bright pink and his eyes were half lidded as he panted. He did his best to keep his hands away from himself, but his hips began to rock with need.

Oswald happily touched Ed's face and kissed one of his hot cheeks.

"I may be new to this, but I know we need lube if you want me to touch you."

Ed smiled and leaned over the bed with a groan. He pulled a small bottle of lube from his pocket and winked at Oswald.

"I came prepared," Ed responded.

Oswald laughed and coated his hand with the slick substance before gripping Ed and rubbing. He kept his eyes on Ed's face while he worked him. He wanted to see just how badly his chief of staff wanted him. Oswald was turned on all over again as he slowly moved his hand up and down Ed's dick and watched his face contort in pleasure. With each breath he could hear a small moan escape Ed's lips and he was living for the sound. Only Oswald could make him sound like that.

Oswald leaned in and kissed Ed passionately as he moved his hand faster and faster. His tongue slid into Ed's mouth and explored ever bit of it. He wanted to know every inch of Ed Nygma. He wanted to be his weakness. Oswald giggled as Ed's moans became louder. He came close to Ed's ear and whispered as sensually as he could.

"Cum for me, Edward Nygma."

That was it! Ed moaned loudly and shouted Oswald's name as he came into his hand. His entire body shook for a moment and as he caught his breath he stole yet another kiss from Oswald.

"Does this mean…Gotham's government has its first same sex couple in office?" Ed asked with a sly smirk.

"It means exactly that, Ed. Now get some sleep. We do actually have to work tomorrow."

Ed stared at Oswald for a moment with a smile and pulled the blankets over his lover. He made sure Oswald was comfortably tucked in before pulling the blankets over himself. Oswald smiled lovingly at Ed and held him close. As they both closed their eyes Oswald could hear Ed softly humming the lullaby that always touched his heart.


End file.
